Are Parents Really Old by Deepa (Laji) Bhagnari

We all love our parents dearly…and I know that whatever the circumstances love for parents is undiminished. Since our birth we see parents as our mentors…teachers…guides and revere them as we are so dependent on them…and they give their 100 percent to us…whatever difficulties they may be facing either emotional…physical or economic, still they are always there for us, sacrificing everything for us so that we can have everything. I think the greatest quality that all parents possess is sacrifice and forgiveness.

I myself have seen my mother going through rough times living in a joint family but still she sheltered us from the upheavals in her life…then I saw my mother in law and my aunt Isho, also doing the same, always sacrificing their all for their children. I learnt sacrifice, forgiveness and  the spirit of giving from them…they were my greatest tutors. My mother cannot remember much now or I would definitely thank her for all the lessons she has unknowingly taught me.

Though we all love our parents and we all have had young parents but still it is strange that parents are somehow thought to be old. This thought occurred to me now when I myself have reached the age when anyone or even the doctors etc casually say “well at your age now you just have to be a little extra careful” and I am indeed startled that they consider me now to be old. Of course, it hurts a bit to hear it initially then one learns to accept the hard truth of life.  But though I hear it, I say to myself I am not old. I still have a lot to do…a lot to see…a lot to achieve…I still hopefully have a long way to go.

Then in introspection I realise that what our children maybe thinking of us today we did the same with our parents. I remember when I was getting married my father coloured his hair for the first time and I smiled thinking how handsome and young he looked despite being old.😃 and was he really old…no of course not he was  46 and my mother I think, around 44…but still because they were parents, we considered them to be old. I realise now that as youngsters we are very callous sometimes. Parents are supposed to be there for you, always, as that is their duty towards us…we often don’t see their struggle and hardship as we are too busy being young, carefree and enjoying life. Today when I see my marriage pics I see my mother looking so beautiful, young and happy and my father looking like a Mills and Boon hero, dark and handsome. I feel sad that I didn’t see them in that light then.

Then I remember at the age of 70 my mother got cancer and the doctors gave us no hope and my poor father was devastated and said that the doctors say age is against her….and we just prayed for a miracle to happen and of course it did and my mother’s bravery got her through the dreadful disease. Today when I hear of my friends or people I know, getting afflicted with a disease at the same age and I say oh God she is not old…strange isn’t it, how we consider ourselves to be young but parents to be old at the same age…why do we think parents are old even when they are in their prime of life…just because we are around 20 to 25 years younger?

I think life comes full circle…what we thought of our parents then, today our children will think of us and that I think is sad. We should change this way of thinking…parents should be encouraged to feel young and on par with their children…participating in activities with them…talking and having discussions with them…interacting with their friends…they should feel wanted, loved and feel that they have not only place in their children’s homes but in their hearts too. The older the parents get, more the attention and love they need…because when  one  is really old they say one is like a child and when we were children we were pampered…loved and cuddled…and now it is the children’s turn to do the same pampering. I don’t think it is much to ask for.

I have seen many parents feeling neglected and lonely as their children are callous in their approach to them…and that really is very sad…the ones who held your hand and made you cross through all the roads of life…today have to long for the same hand to hold them and walk the path of life together. Of course, not all are like that…there are wonderful children also who love and respect their parents and are with them through thick and thin. I think the others should look and learn from them…and parents only can bless even if you neglect them…they can never think or talk anything negative about you – as I said parents are always forgiving.

So for all future generations, I would like to say, never consider your parents to be old, as age is just a number…it is your heart which is young and never old and the more love and affection you receive from your children, the younger you think you are and that one single factor makes you want to live longer and fight every disease that comes your way.

I am happy in one way that I spent quality time with all my three mothers…sitting with them for hours…chatting and gossiping with them…bonding with them and I now realise that I could do it because all three of them were young at heart. They were my friends.  So, please, all parents young or old keep your hearts young and remember the world likes people who are young at heart..😃

And the youngsters of today, love your parents because you inherit just one set of parents and nobody can replace them…love them when they are with you…no sense of remembering them and having regrets after they have left this world.